Today is mine and Dan’s five year anniversary. Five years seems like such a long time and while on the one hand I feel like we’ve been together much longer than that, it also feels like I’ve blinked and suddenly we’re here. So much has happened in the duration of these five years, we’ve had four house moves, three holidays, one baby and have made countless amazing memories along the way. To commemorate this day I wanted to write down our story, as briefly as I can, to have to look back on in the years to come and for Darcie to also read one day and to know the story that led to her. Continue reading “Five Years, The Story of Us”
Darcie will turn 17 months this week, so to say that this post has been a long time coming is an understatement! The details of my labour and her birth are becoming less and less clear in my memory all the time and so I want to write it all down before I forget any more. I saw a video on Facebook about a woman who had so much pain relief that she forgot giving birth to her baby and while the video was comical, I can’t help thinking that I would be sad to not have a memory of the birth of my child. Although there are parts you’d rather not dwell on too much it really is an amazing experience and not one I want to forget.
I have to warn you that this is a long one; I’ve written down as much as I can remember mainly for my own records, so feel free to skip ahead to the parts that interest you the most. When I read this to Dan for him to fact check the sections which are hazy to me, he said ‘Is anybody really going to read all of this?’ Quite possibly not, but it will be nice for me to look back on if nothing else. They take away your pregnancy and birth notes to keep on record where we live and I think it’s such a shame to not have them to look back on! Continue reading “My Labour and Delivery Story // A Positive Birthing Experience”
I had always intended to do Monthly updates for Darcie on this blog but, of course, life got in the way and that hasn’t happened. At all. I did one Six Month Update and then never got around to it again. She has now just turned 16 months, but I thought rather than play catch up on all the updates I have missed, instead I’m just going to do a general post on life with a one year old.
I’m sure this post will end up being a long one, but the upshot of it is this: I love this age! Continue reading “What A ONEderful Age”
Tonight I fed you for the last time. Don’t worry, you’ll still be getting solid food and coconut milk and all of your favourite things but this is the last time you’ll have my milk. This moment has been gradually approaching for months and I know in my heart that you are ready to stop now. I think that really you have been ready for a while and that it was me that needed to carry on. I really needed you to keep needing me. I wanted to keep providing you with the one thing that only I can provide. Or so I thought. But as I sit here now, holding your soft warm little body in my arms, I realise that it’s not true. There are so many other things that only I can do for you, because I am your Mum and that is something that nobody else can ever be. Continue reading “Dear Darcie, This Is The Last Time”
A month ago we went out to get Darcie her first pair of shoes, she’d just began walking and I’d seen the most perfect pair of pink bunny shoes on the Clarks website and was thrilled when they had them in our local branch. Continue reading “These Shoes Were Made For Walking “
This feels like Dan’s first Father’s Day, we hardly celebrated the day last year as we were still very much in the frazzled newborn haze. I managed to organise a card for him but I think that’s where the festivities began and ended. So this year I want to do it properly, I want him to know how much we appreciate his hard work and commitment to his role as Darcie’s Daddy. So this ones for you Dan, maybe this will be the first of my posts that you read to the end… Continue reading “On Father’s Day”
Home is something I’ve been thinking a lot about recently. As we prepare to move house for the fourth time in five years on Saturday, I’ve been feeling thoughtful, and wistfully longing for a ‘home’. A family home that is ours, somewhere that we can raise our family and make memories in, somewhere we will stay for a long time. Continue reading “Home”
Saturday the 13th of May 2017 was Darcie’s first birthday party. Even as I write this a few days later I still can’t get my head around the fact that my baby girl has turned one and had her first birthday party. It was a really lovely afternoon, we had our close family and friends round to our house and had lots of food and entertainment from the guest of honour herself. All of the excitement of her birthday the day before and of the party preparations had meant that her naps were all out of their normal routine but she was still in such a sweet mood and was happy to see everyone who had come. A few weeks ago a big group of people like that would have been really intimidating to her so I was really thrilled with how well she coped with all the attention. Coped is the wrong word, she loved the attention! Continue reading “Darcie’s First Birthday Party // Elmo Party”
One year ago you were one day old, tiny and helpless in my arms. I feel like I’ve blinked and the last year has whizzed by me and you are now a confident, sweet and funny little girl. I’ve savoured every second of being your Mum so far but still it’s like a whirlwind and I can’t quite keep up. Looking back through photos I realise how much you have changed and then I realise that is because you are not a baby anymore. I still call you my baby girl (and I probably will until you are 21 years old!) but you have lost some of that baby look in your face, your features are distinct and we can see the little girl you are becoming. More and more people have started referring to you as a toddler, I wasn’t ready the first time it happened and I didn’t realise they were even referring to you. Surely my baby girl isn’t a toddler already? Continue reading “On Your First Birthday”
One of Darcie’s latest tricks is climbing up the stairs. The first time she did it, I blinked and suddenly she was on the first step. It hadn’t occurred to me that she would be interested in the stairs yet so I was totally mentally unprepared for this development and also completely in awe of her and her newfound skill. Watching her do it is amazing and terrifying at the same time. She has totally mastered how to go up but has no idea how to come down. She likes to speed crawl up to the fifth step and then lean back without a care in the world. She knows that we are there to catch her. She has no reason to think she will fall or even any reason to be scared of what would happen if she did.
I love her determined expression as she climbs up, her whole body is only the height of two of the steps and yet she can conquer them in a matter if seconds. It is so beautiful how blissfully unaware she is of any danger, and as a result there is nothing to stop my intrepid little explorer from reaching dizzying heights. Nothing is holding her back, not even me as I hover behind her ready to catch her the moment she gets bored and decides to take up free falling instead.
I think it’s a pretty good metaphor for Motherhood really, and for the type of Mother that I want to be and hope I am already. Aside from totally illegal and immoral behaviour, I never want to be the reason she doesn’t do something or try something, I never want to put my own fears and insecurities onto her. I know she will grow to have them the same as everyone else but I want them to be her own, not mine or anybody else’s. And I want her to always know that when she lets go and needs back up that I will be there, ready to catch her. Of course the practical thing that I want her to do next is learn how to safely shuffle back down the stairs again but I’m sure it won’t be long…!