I have found this to an extent since having Darcie, when she is around people she knows and recognises and they are playing with her then she is all smiles and giggles. But if somebody she doesn’t know as well looks her directly in the eyes and expects her to laugh, she clearly feels intimidated, her face crumbles and she will bury her face towards me. And that’s fine. It doesn’t mean she is shy, or easily scared, or not content. It literally just means that she doesn’t like what is happening in front of her. As adults we are capable of pretending to like things or to find things funny to spare the feelings of that person, but babies don’t have this skill. I’m becoming sick of having to apologise to people who appear genuinely offended that she hasn’t smiled back or laughed at the face they are pulling.
I’ve heard the term ‘mummified’ batted around as a negative to describe babies and children who have a close bond with their Mum and prefer to turn to them for comfort and reassurance. I don’t see anything wrong with this and I definitely wouldn’t think of it as a negative thing. Of course a Mother and her child have a special bond and there will always be times and situations when no one else will do. For myself and Darcie, we spend the vast majority of our time together because I am the stay at home parent. I would worry if Darcie wasn’t ‘mummified’ because it would probably mean I hadn’t done my job properly as I have given up work in order to not only be her main caregiver but to form a strong relationship with her. That’s not to say that she doesn’t have special bonds with other people, she is so close to her Daddy of course and other family members and friends that we see more often. She has little buddies at baby group that she will happily play with and she is confident to be around their Mums because they are familiar to her.
I know that my little girl is happy and content and we have so many smiles and laughter throughout our day, she doesn’t have to smile at a stranger to reassure me of that. Us Mums have enough to worry about without random passersby making us feel bad that our child won’t show them her pearly whites (well pearly white to be exact!)
You make a very valid point and it makes perfect sense. It bothers me too that if one of my kids (3 and 1) didn’t want to smile or say hi to a stranger, they were marked as being shy or afraid of strangers.
I completely agree, at first I felt I should apologise for it but then I thought about it more and realised that we as adults would probably feel the same way if we were expected to perform like a monkey and smile and whoever was demanding it! They mean well but I do think people expect way too much from our little people x