One of Darcie’s latest tricks is climbing up the stairs. The first time she did it, I blinked and suddenly she was on the first step. It hadn’t occurred to me that she would be interested in the stairs yet so I was totally mentally unprepared for this development and also completely in awe of her and her newfound skill. Watching her do it is amazing and terrifying at the same time. She has totally mastered how to go up but has no idea how to come down. She likes to speed crawl up to the fifth step and then lean back without a care in the world. She knows that we are there to catch her. She has no reason to think she will fall or even any reason to be scared of what would happen if she did.
I love her determined expression as she climbs up, her whole body is only the height of two of the steps and yet she can conquer them in a matter if seconds. It is so beautiful how blissfully unaware she is of any danger, and as a result there is nothing to stop my intrepid little explorer from reaching dizzying heights. Nothing is holding her back, not even me as I hover behind her ready to catch her the moment she gets bored and decides to take up free falling instead.
I think it’s a pretty good metaphor for Motherhood really, and for the type of Mother that I want to be and hope I am already. Aside from totally illegal and immoral behaviour, I never want to be the reason she doesn’t do something or try something, I never want to put my own fears and insecurities onto her. I know she will grow to have them the same as everyone else but I want them to be her own, not mine or anybody else’s. And I want her to always know that when she lets go and needs back up that I will be there, ready to catch her. Of course the practical thing that I want her to do next is learn how to safely shuffle back down the stairs again but I’m sure it won’t be long…!