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My Hopes & Fears For Becoming A Mum Of Two | One Year On

When I became a mum for the first time, I was quite blissfully naive. None of my friends had children and while I knew that this would be a life changing thing, nothing could have prepared me for the total turnaround that my life was about to take. It took a lot of adjusting to really feel like I had found my feet as a mum and just when I got to that point – we decided to have another one! Second time around I knew more of what I was letting myself in for, I knew that my baby would cry (a lot) and I knew that they (probably) wouldn’t sleep very well. But the one thing that I felt completely ignorant to was just how life would be with two children. How would I cope at home with them both by myself? Would Darcie be mad at me for having another baby? Would they get on? The list went on! (more…)

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Dear Darcie, I Miss You

Written 17th July 2018, photo from today 15th February 2019

Dear Darcie,

This evening when I got into bed I was suddenly struck by how much I miss you. We’ve been so busy during the days adjusting to life as a family of four that I’ve barely had time to stop and think or feel very much. But as I got into bed it hit me, I miss you – I really miss you. I miss the way things used to be, I miss being able to give you all of my attention and all of my love, every hour of every day. I miss being able to go to you as soon as you call for me, because sometimes Ernie’s needs are greater than yours. (more…)

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I Won’t Wish It Away

There’s no denying that life with two young children is hard. As they get older I’m sure there will be new challenges, new daily battles, new things to worry and feel guilty for. But this phase right now must surely be the most relentless. This is the phase when my baby wakes like clockwork every time my head hits the pillow, wanting a feed. This is the phase when my toddler is trying to figure out the world, she wants to push boundaries, try new things, and there are a lot of lessons for us all to learn along the way. Life as a mum of two under three is not easy, it can be gruelling, exhausting, emotional and unforgiving. Nobody with young children could be blamed for occasionally longing for days years from now, when the kids are off at school, or away for the night at their friends houses, or even with their grandparents while mum and dad finally get a week away. To themselves. (more…)

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