Dear Darcie, You Make Me Better

Today is International Women’s Day and I’ve been loving it. All day today I have seen inspiring messages from both men and women about women who inspire them, motivate them and educate them. I love that we have a day all about celebrating women and so I wanted to write a post of my own, to mark this day. Last year I wrote International Women’s Day// The Things I Want to Teach My Daughter and so this year I wanted to look at it from the other side. This is a letter to Darcie, my darling daughter. This is a thank you for all of the things that you have taught me and shown me so far in your little lifetime.Dear Darcie,

Thank you. Thank you for all of the things that you have done so far in your life, things that you won’t ever remember but that have changed me and my life for the better. You have only been on this planet for nearly two years and already you have had a greater effect on my life that anyone else I have ever known. You’ve taught me things about myself that I’ve never known before and you’ve shone a new light on my world.

Thank you for making me stronger. Being your Mother has pushed me to limits I didn’t even know existed. I’m not talking about the pain of bringing you into this world, I’m talking about all of the emotional and mental challenges that I have encountered through motherhood so far. Sometimes motherhood pushes me to breaking point, and I’m not ashamed to say that at times I have been broken. But each time I come back stronger, for you. Because you can’t just quit motherhood and I would never want to anyway. Life before being your mum seems irrelevant. I’ve developed more as a person over the last two years that in the twenty that preceded them.

Thank you for making me want to do better, to be better. I’ve never known what motivates me in life. I like money, but it has never pushed me to succeed. Neither has popularity or any of these other things that motivate people (See, I can’t even think what they are!). But you, my little love, you motivate me more than anything else ever could. I’m so aware of being your main female role model in life, and of the pressure that comes with that. Everything that I want to teach you to be in life, I have to show you how to be. How to be kind, patient, hard working and gentle. I’m constantly striving to be better, so I can show you how to be better. From little things to smiling at strangers in the street to bigger things like creating my business from home. I do it all for you. Without you, I wouldn’t be half of what I am.

Thank you for showing me what matters in life. Since you came into my life, I have realised the importance of family and friends. I have learnt to let the little things go and focus on the bigger picture. When it’s raining outside and every inch of me would happily stay on the sofa, you bring me your wellies and remind me that it’s way more fun to go and splash in the puddles outside. On even the hardest of days, you will always make me laugh. You’ve shown me how not to hold a grudge and how to forgive quickly. You’ve reminded me that sometimes cake really does make everything better and seriously who even cares about calories in those moments? You’ve taught me that outfits don’t need to match and hair doesn’t always need to be brushed.

The joy that I see in you everyday, for things that most adults wouldn’t even register, has taught me how to find that joy too. And even on days when I feel like I really don’t have my life together, I look at you and can truly see that I must be doing something right.

My darling baby, I can’t even begin to describe how much you have changed my life for the better and taught me how to be a better person. One day I hope you will understand but for now just know that I am so, so grateful and that I love you even more than I knew was possible.

Never stop being you, my gorgeous girl.

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