I’ve been neglecting my blog again. I write posts, I save them as drafts. Drafts that I forget to come back too. I have a thought, I quickly share it on Instagram. What would have previously become a blog post, is now lost in a sea of posts and stories. It’s a shame, because I love this space so much. My blog was my first love online, this is where it all began. In many ways this blog got me through the early days of Motherhood. Just having this space to write has always meant so much, regardless of how many people were reading my words.
It goes without saying that this has been a weird year. In some ways I’ve had lots to say about it all, but equally I haven’t found the energy to do so. Sometimes when you have so much to write about, it’s hard to know where to begin. I also wanted to keep my blog a COVID free zone, which is probably part of the reason that I haven’t posted very much. COVID has infiltrated everything this year. A lot has happened this year, a lot of which I want to write about, and some of which is already sitting in my drafts. I suppose I’m writing this post just to say Hi, I’m still here.
I feel like we have now basically adjusted to Darcie being at school. She really struggled at first, and so did I. It was so alien to send her to a place I knew she didn’t want to be. Every decision I had previously made in motherhood was led by her. if things made her sad or uncomfortable, we wouldn’t do them. But school was different, and not having loved it very much myself, it was hard to find much belief in the fact that things would get easier. I’ve been happily proved wrong, she still has wobbles and I’m becoming increasingly aware that she is often more anxious than her peers, but mostly she loves school. Her teacher is great and she has made so many lovely friends. On the days when she is sad and has told me she is going to miss me fifty times on the short journey to school, I find a lot of comfort in how happy her friends are too see her. The way that they all say hello to her and want her to go and play with them tells me that she is much more settled at school than drop off could leave me to believe.
Ernie has been thriving since school began too. His speech comes on in leaps and bounds every day, and I’m sure that’s because I have more time to talk to him when I don’t have a chatty four year old buzzing around me all the time. He misses Darcie when she’s at school and they are always so happy to see each other but its also clear that the time apart has its benefits. It’s been lovely getting to know him as his own person more too. He’s got an amazing sense of humour and also loves to cuddle up and watch a film in a way that Darcie has never been interested in.
This lockdown for us has been – okay. I know that some have found it harder than March but for me it has been easier. There were other things going on for us in March that made that lockdown particularly painful, so lockdown 2 was always looking to be more bearable. I will write about all of that in time. I’ve found it’s also really helped to be getting out and doing the school run twice a day. Just that five minute conversation with the other mums and the habit of being out and in the fresh air has made a huge difference to how I’ve been feeling. In many ways life just feels more ‘normal’ this time. The one things which I am really missing is being able to have a friend round for a cup of coffee. Being able to catch up in the warm is one of life’s simple joys that I have always taken for granted. Never again. 2020 has really taught me what’s important and what’s not. When Primark opens next week, but I still can’t have a friend round for a coffee – I know which way round I would prefer it to be.
Loungewear – the saving grace of 2020. I know I’m not the only person who has basically lived in loungewear this year, and as soon as BoJo announced another lockdown, I knew exactly what I needed to do. Place another Femme Luxe loungewear order! I ordered two gorgeous pairs of joggers. They’re perfect because they’re so warm and comfy for lounging around at home, but they also look school run acceptable with a pair of trainers and a leather jacket. Loungewear that you can wear both in and out the house is basically 2020 goals. The quality of these is exceptional too, they’re so thick and soft, and they’re cuffed which makes them as flattering as a pair of joggers could ever be. I ordered a black and white marble pair (I know!!) and also a lovely cream colour. I’ll be living in these for the foreseeable future!
I really do intend on writing more again from now on. It’s been so nice to sit down and have a brief catch up on here, and like I said before I really do have so much to write about. I just need to find a good starting point!