You’re not really one for big emotional outbursts so I hope that me writing this and showing it to the world won’t make you uncomfortable.
We don’t do these soppy moments often and so I wanted to take this opportunity to thank you and to celebrate you as my mum. Because as you, and everyone who reads my blog will know, I am an emotional person and I like to have these outbursts from time to time.
I basically want to thank you. Growing up I never realised quite how much you did for us, it was only when I became a Mum myself that I suddenly realised how much you must have sacrificed for us, and put your life on hold for us. I’m only on the beginning of my journey as a Mother and so I’m sure I’ll realise this to an even greater extent as time goes on. But for now I just want to say thank you. For doing all that you did and for raising us the way that you did.
Everything that I want to teach my own daughter (and my son when he arrives!) is based on the things that you taught me yourself when I was growing up. You showed us how to be kind, how to forgive, how to be generous and gentle. You showed us to share our things and you taught us that not everything in life will come handed to us on a plate. All the hours you spent doing crafts with us, painting pictures, collages, homemade Play Doh and a million other activities gave me the creativity that I am so grateful to have, and that I am so keen to give to my children too. Suddenly I can see the hours of effort that you put in and all the work that you did behind the scenes to keep us happy, fed and learning about life and the world.
I don’t remember ever being shoved in front of the telly or being told to go away because you were too busy to talk to me. I only ever remember you giving us all your time and energy. Now I am a mum myself, I know how difficult that can be to keep up at times. You are the Mother that I am trying to be. In many ways I am so different to you but when it comes to Motherhood, you taught me how to be a good Mother. You taught me through showing me and now that is all I strive to be. I am constantly drawing on my own childhood as I raise Darcie and basing my own parenting decisions around the way that you raised me.
Since becoming a Grandmother to my daughter, you have still first and foremost remained my Mum. Reassuring me when I need it or re affirming my decisions. You are so busy in your own life and yet you still find ways to support me. Whether it be sending me articles that I’d like to read, telling me your cheesecake recipe for the hundredth time (I’ll write it down one day I promise!) or even bigger things like helping me when I was struggling to breastfeed.
You’ve been my mum for nearly a quarter of a century so to sum it all up in this letter, is an impossible task. Thank you for every little thing that you have ever done for me, for all the things that went unnoticed and un-thanked. I have so much more to be grateful to you for than I ever realised. All the sleepless nights, the nappy changes, the trips out, the books read, the songs sung, the lack of time for yourself, the school runs, the hours spent helping me to understand Maths and Science and your unwavering support as I became a mum myself. I know it was a shock when I told you I first told you I was pregnant, but you only reacted with love and support, the same as you have done throughout my entire life as I’ve wavered on and off the rails.
You’ve never not been there for me when I’ve needed you, you’ve given me space when I needed space and time when I needed time. You’ve been the nurse, the taxi, the chef, the therapist, the advice giver. There would never be any way for me to repay you for how much you have given me in my life and how much more you are still giving constantly. I hope this scratches the surface of my gratitude to you, I wouldn’t be the person that I am today if it weren’t for everything you have done for me in my life.
I promise to keep giving you beautiful grandchildren for you to love and than hand back at the end of the day!
Thanks Mum, I don’t say it enough, but you really are the best.