Now that the news is out there I feel I have a lot to update you on how this pregnancy has been so far. It was so difficult not to mention how I was feeling in blog posts or to have a quick moan about morning sickness on Twitter, but now that I can let it all out, that is exactly what this post is going to be. It could be a long one so you might want to go grab a cup of tea and get comfy.
My First Symptoms and Taking a Pregnancy Test
I knew I was pregnant before I took a test. I think when you’ve been pregnant before you can recognise the signs much easier. Everyone responds to pregnancy differently and so it’s not always easy to self diagnose on Google without taking a test. But the second time around, I just knew.I felt nauseous and lightheaded all the time, even when I’d just eaten I felt like I could pass out at any second, I was so tired and basically just drained. This is exactly how I felt in the first trimester with my first pregnancy, but I think the symptoms just hit me sooner this time around. I didn’t know I was pregnant with Darcie until I was around ten weeks so although I was suffering with the first trimester, I had had a negative test and so I just assumed there was something seriously wrong with me instead. On Monday the 16th of October I took a pregnancy test in the ASDA toilets in town. Classy, I know, but I just couldn’t wait to find out that there was a baby growing inside me as I knew in my heart that it was. I was shocked when that test came up negative, just one lonely blue line. I was so confused and sad as I wondered if maybe I didn’t know my body that well after all and wished more than anything that I had been correct and that I was pregnant. On the other hand I had had a false negative at around 8 weeks with Darcie and so my faith in pregnancy tests isn’t that strong. A few hours later when I got home I took the test out of the box and stared at it, wishing there to be a second line, and that’s when I saw it. So faint that it was barely there, the other blue line. I know that they say not to look at pregnancy tests after more than an hour or so because of evaporation lines so I quickly ran to take the other test that was left in the box. Sure enough, there was that one strong line again, and just next to it was a line, faint but absolutely there. I cried, I waved the stick at Darcie and told her again and again that she was going to be a big sister and that she was going to be an amazing one at that, I cried some more, she tried to eat the stick, I laughed, she laughed, I cried. I couldn’t wait to tell Dan!
Telling Dan I Was Pregnant
We had been trying for this baby and so I knew how thrilled Dan would be. I honestly couldn’t wait to tell him but equally I really wanted to wait and tell him in a special way. Our first pregnancy was a (totally amazing, wonderful) shock and so although we were so happy once we had processed the news, I never got to tell him in a nice way. I had taken the pregnancy test on the Monday and it was to be our five year anniversary on the Saturday and so I decided to wait until then. I ordered a Big Sister T Shirt from Etsy for Darcie to use to tell him and then went out and got him four presents to give him, one to represent each year we had been together and then the last present was to be the news of the baby. I’m rubbish at keeping secrets, and that combined with how sick and tired I was feeling at the time meant that the week certainly dragged. Every day I nearly cracked and told him, but I am so glad I waited. Saturday morning arrived and I eagerly started giving him his presents, I was actually going to burst at that point if I didn’t tell him soon. He very slowly (that’s what it felt like anyway) opened his first four presents and then I took Darcie out with me to ‘help’ get his last one. She walked into the room wearing her Big Sister T Shirt holding the wrapped up pregnancy tests but he was so focused on what she was holding he didn’t even notice the T Shirt! Eventually he sussed it out and he was so happy, as I had known he would be. He was actually totally surprised too which I didn’t expect as I really thought that he had guessed from how I had been acting. But it turns out that either men really aren’t that observant or Dan is just really good at lying to protect my feelings!
My Symptoms Throughout the First Trimester
Where do I begin? I feel like this pregnancy hit me like a ton of bricks, I should have been expecting it but it really is true that once your baby is born you forget the horrors of pregnancy and so I had blissfully glossed over the details of the first trimester in my memory. The food aversions coupled with constant nausea is the worst part for me. It was exactly the same with my first pregnancy but I had forgotten how crippling it really is. Feeling constantly sick but unable to eat anything to ease the nausea. Even water made me sick at one point. Dry toast, a usual staple when you’re feeling queasy, made me heave. I survived this phase by eating whatever I could, whenever my body would let me. Usually that was crisps, not exactly healthy but enough to line my stomach and keep the sickness at bay. I have actually been sick this time around, with my first pregnancy I never was despite feeling it 24/7 but this time has been worse in that respect. My skin was not a fan of the first trimester either, everyday a new spot appeared on my face which is just the icing on top of the first trimester cake. I was constantly tired, as in more than just usual-parent-of-a-toddler-tired and bad pregnancy dreams would wake me up throughout the night too. I know it’s all getting a bit doom and gloom over here but unfortunately that is the reality of the first trimester for me. I wanted to be pregnant so much and throughout all of these difficult months I was never resentful of the pregnancy but that doesn’t mean it’s all sunshine and roses. My mood was quite low at points and my emotions even more all over the place than usual. There were days when I would cry over the smallest thing and my raging hormones were particularly difficult at Christmas when everyone around me was so happy and I knew that I should be too. Thankfully, as with my first pregnancy, most of these symptoms have eased since the first trimester ended. The nausea has continued to an extent and I’m sure the tiredness won’t go away but my mood is greatly improved and my hormones seem to have settled for now.
Midwife Appointments and Scans
We had our booking appointment at 11 weeks which was much the same as I remember from the first time around. Blood tests, wee samples, the usual, just this time we had a toddler tearing around the room too. My midwife seems very lovely but I know I will hardly see her throughout my pregnancy as appointments are much less frequent the second time around, especially given that everything went smoothly with my first pregnancy. We had our twelve week scan which was wonderful. We even bumped into the lovely lady who had been my midwife with Darcie when we were at the hospital which was so lovely as we had got on so well and it was nice to tell her how we are all doing and she was thrilled to see us back for round two! The scan went well, and everything seems to be growing and developing at a good rate. Our screening results came back as very low risk, which is always a relief. One of the lovely things about our scan was that it made me every bit as emotional to see the little baby on the screen as it did the first time with Darcie. Although with your second pregnancy there is this constant feeling of deja vu and ‘been there, done that’, the emotions, the joy and the heart racing moment when you see your baby for the first time on that screen are all the same. It reassures me that when this baby is born I will get the same rush of love that I did for Darcie. That moment was so incredibly powerful to me that sometimes I wonder how I could ever experience it again, but I know that I will. This baby is certainly more wriggly than lazy little Darcie was. I used to have to wriggle my hips around to get her to move for the scan but this baby was somersaulting around all over the place. Given how active Darcie is now, I’m a little bit scared as to what sort of handful we could have on our hands with this child!
I’m writing this at 17 weeks pregnant and even now my bump is barely there. By the end of the first trimester I had reached the just-looking-a-bit-fat stage, and to be honest I’m still there now. Everyone told me that I would get bigger, quicker this time around but I think they could be forgetting just how big I got last time. I’d put on around 4lbs by the end of the first trimester which I believe is quite normal and I’m just hoping that I don’t now suddenly put on as much weight as I did the first time around. With my first pregnancy I saw it as an excuse to eat for four, let alone two. My craving was mainly for cake and I was working close by to Costa, Greggs and Sainsbury’s which meant I could eat as much as I wanted, when I wanted. This time I have a toddler to run around after and less time to sit and binge, so I’m hopeful that I’ll be less of a whale this time. I also now know how hard it was to lose those pregnancy pounds (stones but pounds has a better ring to it) so that is good motivation not to just eat for the sake of it.
I think that’s about it for the first trimester, well done if you made it to the end of all of that! I’m doing regular bump and pregnancy updates on my Instagram so follow me on there if you aren’t already and you want to be in the loop. I’ll be doing updates on here too but only as often as I feel I have something to say.
I hope you all have a lovely Saturday and to anyone out there struggling with the first trimester or just pregnancy in general, my inbox is always open and just know that you’re not alone!